marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
