I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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