Screwed.edu
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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