I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
