Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
