I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
you never un-have a 4some
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
