I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
