I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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