I wannas sexs uuuuu
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
