I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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