I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
