Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
