My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm too high and old for this...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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