I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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