u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
