Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The power of my boobs compel you
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
