I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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