Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
