i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
