True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
