I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
True strength comes from lack of pants
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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