"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
