You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize