This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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