Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
two words...techno handjob
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
