i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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