Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It was confusing and full of hummus
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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