Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
