Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
