You can't special order awesome
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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