smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
