It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize