We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
