Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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