All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
