She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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