Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
