guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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