Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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