Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
