Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
