Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
