not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize