I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There are leaves in my underwear?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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