I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
