I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I would fuck him just for his dog
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
