whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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