I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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