flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
