her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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