Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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