Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
