did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
