I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
