I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
