We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize