maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Randomize
