So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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