Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
