Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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