The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
