i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
