Can i not drive my cunt home
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
