Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
