I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
