Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i out mim tonsoeep
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