Where is the hickey?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
